What a fun and interesting weekend.  Started off with getting a call about 3 Friday afternoon from a friend wanting to know if I really needed a cocktail.  (I had emailed him Friday about noon complaining how stressed out I was).  So we hit Buddies and Missy B's.  For those who don't know those are two of the gay bars in KC.  I wasn't crazy about Buddies, but I loved Missy's and can't wait to go back.  

Saturday we got invited to a party out in Independence.  It was great.  All of my wonderful friends from camp were there and we sat around most of the night talking and catching up.  It was nice to be able to sit around and chat without having someone having to run off and do something.  I didn't walk into the door until almost 4 Sunday morning.  Sunday we went to a party in KCK.  There weren't many at this party, but the conversation was great.  I walked in the door about 2 this morning.  I'm exhausted and my old body can't keep up with this type of partying.  Thankfully I'm off this week and can try to catch up on my sleep.  

Only one new years resolution...one that I think I will keep to myself for right now.  :)

I emailed my friend tonight and explained to him that I am not finding what I am looking for in his group.  I explained to him that I am wanting to advance my training and I believe that he could not take me there or even help me get where I am wanting to go.  I believe that he was understanding and I am hoping that this does not hurt the friendship we had before this all began.  I think he knows that he can not offer me the skills that I am looking for.  I'm wanting to become knowledgeable in herbology.  I have many ailments that require medications on a daily basis and I would like to be able to get off these meds as long with getting D off the meds she is on.  There are other things I want to learn and I know I can either learn them on my own or tip into the community I have around me.  


As for this weekend...I'm going to go to the second party I was invited to today.  This still leaves me hanging with my boys but at least we won't be hopping the gay bars.

Yesterday I was wondering what I was going to do with myself come NYE...now I've been invited to 2 parties....both of which will be equally good.  What shall I do with myself now?  

Back to an eariler post....decisions have been made about paths....action to be taken within the next 24 hours. 

I look at my calendar and wonder when I'm going to find time to do laundry...maybe Saturday.  I just found out the tile for my kitchen came in and they are planning on putting it down next week.  This means my easy do nothing weekend has turned into a cleaning frenzy.  At this moment I do not have a dining room.  It is piled to the ceiling with all of my camping supplies and tents.  I have to find a place to store all of this for a couple of months until I can get it out to camp and into my cabin.  

The one night I want plans (which is Sunday) nothing is coming my way.  I had a couple of offers...go play cards with my friends or follow the boys around town to the local gay bars.  None which seems to catch my eye.  I really don't want to play cards for New Years Eve and I know I don't want to watch the boys pickin up on men when there would be none for me...lol  I know Sunday will come and I will probably end up staying home as I have done for the last 4 years.  Myth has it that the person you spend New Years Eve with is who will be an important person in your life the coming year.  D is the most important person in my life, but spending yet another NYE with her is about as exciting as getting teeth extracted.  I know a few of my friends want to go to camp, but I know my camp schedule for next month and really would rather stay in the city.  I have 3 weekends next month that I have to be at camp.  I'm sure I will figure something out.  Right now the boys are getting my vote as I know I won't be bored.

Finally got back from being at camp for the last 24 hours.  Lots of down time.  Very quiet with time to think.  I finally walked blood trail which is a 4 mile or so uphill hike.  

Like I said lots of time to think.  Lots of things thought about.  No decisions made. 

I've been thinking over a conversation that I was involved in last night.  Actually I must admit I was the main point of the conversation and my lack of sex.  It has been pointed out to me by many different people that there were many men hitting on me at LBLD this year.  Of course I didn't notice or care to notice.  Probably more of the latter.  LBLD is a singles casual sex fest.  I see nothing wrong with having casual sex...it's just not for me.  My girlfriends always come whining to me because they had casual sex with a man and it's been weeks and he still hasn't called her or contacted her in any way.  Ummm...DUH!  He got what he wanted he doesn't need you anymore...he has moved on to the next notch on his bedpost.  

Being pagan and not caring for casual sex brings up so many different views.  My friends all think I'm a little nuts for not wanting to have sex with every man who hits on me.  It's not that I don't want to have sex with the man but what is wrong with wanting to have a relationship and getting to know someone first? One of my girls wants to get married in a bad way.  She can't understand why she can't get a man to stick around...darlin' stop having sex on your first date.  I have a 14 year old daughter who I don't want growing up thinking that sex is the answer to love.  You must love yourself first before you can allow love into your life.  A hard lesson to learn for some.  Sex does not equal love.  Sex has so many consequences that many either do not want to acknowledge or they don't understand them.  

I always tell my friends that if it takes me another 3 years (I've been single for 3 years) to find the person who is right for me than so be it.  Yes sex is important but it is not the most important thing in the world.  In the meantime I will just have to invest in a battery charger.  :)

nkcmike posted a blog about how he has visited myspace in the last few days.  I started writing him a comment but found it getting longer than most comments should be so here are my thoughts: 

There is no way to compare myspace with LJ.  LJ is for the "serious" blogger whereas myspace is fun and can be quite obscene.  I originally started myspace over a year ago to keep in touch with my friends that live out of state.  I grew up in Chicago and this seemed like an easy way to know what my old friends were up to.  Now a year later and my intent as changed.  Most of my friends on myspace are local and I know the majority of them personally.  This has been a great way to stay in touch with those I love that I do not see but a few times a year.  Each page reflects their personality or who they really are.  LJ does not offer this type of service for which I'm glad.  With LJ I am able to post my serious blogs the ones that I don't necessarily want to share with all my friends.  Myspace was set up with teenagers in mind.  They have tried to change their age reference but this is a daunting job that I doubt they will be able to fix.  I personally will not let my daughter have an account.  I know what gets passed between pages and well I would like to keep her a little girl for a bit longer...lol  

So which is better?  This depends on your own personal goals for your page.  I like myspace but have found myself pulling away from it...long before I started my LJ page.  Myspace is intended for the young and the young at heart.  Does this mean I'm getting old?  Or am I just looking for new meaning in my life?

What a crazy couple of days this will be.  All I can ask is it 10 o'clock Sunday night yet?  That's when all of this will end for me and when I will be heading out to camp to spend the next two days with my wonderfully gay boys.  

It started today with a party at the nursing home where my grandma is recovering from a broken pelvis.  I was shocked when they stared passing out wine and beer to all the elderly residents.  Give my alzheimer forgetting g-ma wine and OMG!  She was more than loopy when we left her this afternoon.  Tomorrow I am attending Yule with the coven I have been working with.  Hopefully I will be able to get some rest before we have to leave tomorrow afternoon.  Sunday is the day we spend with my parents. (I can't wait to get my gifts...I hit the jackpot this year:  NEW BRAS)  I plan to spend most of the day with them until I have to take my son home at 10 p.m.  Then it is off to never never land; aka Camp Gaea.  

Thanks to cskippy2000 and nkcmike  for this one... 
I always wanted to be a Duchess...lol

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Her Exalted Highness Duchess Barb the Kind of Nether Wombleshire Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

There are many different paths our lives can take. At times we may be going down more than one path at a time. At this point in my life I'm walking down several different paths that all can led me to a very different me. But I find myself questioning one of my paths...wondering if I should even be on this path. If I should even be exploring it or walking down the path with the people on it. I have learned a lot on this path but things are not turning out how I had them planned in my head and things are getting a bit to stressful for me. What sucks is that if I choose not to follow this path is I am unsure of what the outcome will bring. How well the others that are walking this path with me will react and how they will treat me afterwards. I usually wouldn't care what others think of me and do what feels good at the moment, but there are people involved that I wouldn't want to hurt in a million years.